Tag Archives: life

Things are a bit not quite good

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Or they’re bad.

It’s funny how you think/feel like you’re starting to get somewhere with something and then someone comes along and replaces that feeling with destroyed self confidence and a little bit of betrayal.

Today, I am powered by kalms and chamomile tea. And I’ve managed to have a bath and listen to two albums, whilst all the while neglecting the blank piece of paper and pen on the table. And now I’m here instead. The last few days have been just as rubbish.

So, should I give up, or stand up and fight?

I’m not sure it’s worth the effort anymore.

Hello and how are you?

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I’ve been a bit busy lately. Not the good kind of busy.. The wading-through-treacle-to-busy-to-sleep kind of busy. I feel like I’m painting the forth bridge.. No wait, that’s a song, isn’t it?

‘cos life is like, painting the Forth bridge with a tooth brush, in the full knowledge that when it’s done, it will be begun again…

(For those interested, The Divine Comedy, Painting the Forth Bridge)

Anyway.. Back to my excuses reason for not being here. Stuff has been busy and I’m really tired. That sounds rubbish written down, but I am. I barely make it to the gym, there’s just stuff that needs to be done. All of the time. So! To avoid sinking into a pit of self pity, I’m doing one of those positive posts this evening, without further ado, reasons I have to cheer up be happy:

My new hobby – tatting- this is not popular in the UK, so I haven’t found anyone to teach me. I started with YouTube and bought basic patterns books with a book voucher I got for my birthday. I’m not very good, but I like learning something new. And it’s really helping my empathise with my beginner crochet people! So, I managed this:

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My babies – not quite so babyish, still very cute. Biggest is at that stage where sentences are overly complicated… “Mama, what’s today after I go to sleep?” Is a favourite. And in true toddler fashion, everyone stinks/is stinky at the moment. And every game must have a story, and there must be a reason for everything, and he must know what it is. He starts school nursery next week, so I can join the millions of people posting pictures of their kids in school uniform on Facebook and Instagram. Littlest is growing up too, he tried putting words altogether for the first time last week. His first attempt at a sentence was actually the same as his big brothers – more cookie please! This came out as ‘more cookie peas’ but I got it (and he more cookie). He’s like a small bulldozer and is incredibly tough (I think his big bro taught him that). Today he is sporting circular bruises on his head- the same shape as the toy he was running with at nursery and landed head first on, according to the accident report! Tomorrow is the last day that the boys will be in daycare together, near my work. That makes me sad! So back to happy thoughts…

I decorated my bathroom – well almost, I need to paint the floor. But I did it all by myself (well, I didn’t attach the cupboard to the wall). I even painted a frame to match and made a crochet thing to make it look pretty.

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I haven’t killed my chilli plants yet

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Work – should never be on a happy list unless you have your dream job. Which I don’t. I don’t even know what that would be! But anyway, going back to work after maternity leave is awful. It feel’s like you’ve been consigned to the scrap heap for being a mammy for a bit. So.. A few months down the line, it’s getting a bit better, I think. This can only be a good thing and therefore is on my happy list.

I’m running out of happy things… I’ve seen more of some of my family recently which is happysad. Happy for seeing them, sad cos the reasons for seeing them are sad. (And if happysad isn’t a word, it should be).

Right, I’m good at waffling on about nonsense, I think we’ve ascertained that. Maybe I should practice being good at sleeping now.

Goodnight folks!

The night before weigh in…

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And all through the house, no sweeties were eaten, not even a chocolate mouse….

And I do have some chocolate mice. I did eat some starburst though. There was less fat in them.

I’m now writing this on an iPod. So, apologies if the typing is worse than usual (good luck to the autocorrect figuring out what I’m trying to say!). This is because of a major wifi failure, which led to lots of trying to fix stuff, and resulted in my laptop and iPhone having a very long conversation (about 2 hours so far). I got bored and am in bed.

Obviously, the wifi is currently alive, or I wouldn’t be able to post this. We can’t have pictures though. Unless they’re from photostream. Hmmmm…. Just realised that hasn’t been working in ages and is now updating. I love technology!

Anyway, today’s big crisis was little person’s immunisations. All 3 of them! Very stressful for mammy, worried about having a 2 nearly 3 year old with us (last time he made a big scene). But it was ok. Big one read a story with me in the waiting room. Pretended to read it while watching them jab baby. Baby screamed. Then baby laughed at people watching him.

I gave him calpol (paracetamol) and he went to bed early, with only a breast feed. This is unprecedented, as even before the current weaning program (his teeth are too sharp, and bitey), he had an 8 oz bottle every night. Anyway, he seems to be ok. He never has medicine, so it’s possible that’s made him sleepy.

Sweeties were bought as rewards (yes, I bribe my toddler) and everyone survived.

But I should be sleeping… And I’m not. Quite frankly, I’m dreading tomorrow. Well, it has to be done! Let’s just see how bad it is, then I can start again. Repeat 500 times, ‘I will lose weight’.

Goodnight folks.