Category Archives: things aren’t going well

A little bit of honesty…

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Sometimes things suck. I bet you normally pretend they don’t. I know I do. Sometimes there are lots and lots of things that all want to be done at the same time and my brain wants to explode. Sometimes I think I’m on top of everything and things are going ok and am happyish. And then sometimes someone sticks a pin in the happy balloon and it’s all shit rubbish again.

Someone did that to me recently.. Can you tell?

Anyway, this is supposed to be a ‘stuff in general’ post. This thing where I have a plan dictates that I should have done this last week. I didn’t.

So… Stuff in general… Well… Not great if I’m being honest, so I’ll keep it short. Not much to report. Except well… My brain actually hurts. And I need to sleep and it’s really very cold in here.

I give up!

Goodnight.

Today sucks

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So… There have been some issues recently which meant stuff changed. Over the last three weeks I ditched Zumba and Pilates. And even the gym for a bit. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t keep paying for stuff when we can’t afford it. So.. There you have it. I got back to the gym a couple of times this week, but my program (and reduced price) ends on Tuesday. So, that’ll be the end of that for the foreseeable future.

The thing is… Something I hadn’t expected had happened… I’d actually started to enjoy going to the gym (I know, it’s hard to believe). Once I got past the boredom bit, me and my iPod were quite enjoying the time together. We’d made a new playlist and everything.

Anyway.. Enough with the depressingness (new word- I think I like it). I’m going to have a cup of tea and I’ll speak write type to you all later.

Plans for the day include laundry… A trip out to buy some birthday gifts and possibly see the festive lights in the park. There’s some kind of ‘glowing orb’ visiting tonight, if it’s any good I may post pictures.

Bananas and herbal tea

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I just dug out my laptop, thinking it’d be nicer to type on. And I could listen to music too. After forty minutes of arguing with it, I have succeeded in emptying the recycle bin. So now I’m back to an iPod/iPhone combo. Apple have won again!

Anyway, bananas and herbal tea have been the theme for the weekend, as I found out on Friday that I’d put on 4lbs in a week and a half. Not exactly going well with the weight loss thing. But I’m not gonna dwell on negatives! Maybe I’ll have something positive to report on weigh-day-Wednesday?

Last weekend, I dragged family to local park to take part in a local ‘big walk’, we did a health walk. Husband didn’t want to be there and pointed that out almost continuously, and toddler ‘wasn’t tired’ but needed to be carried half way round, despite that, I enjoyed it. And toddler was happy with his medal.

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It did reinforce my family’s, (well my husband’s really), version of supporting me. It’s very much ‘do want you want, as long as I’m not involved’, but such is life! Anyway, it’s a nice park, and it wasn’t too cold. The walk leaders were people who knew the park really well, so we learnt stuff on the way – who knew there was a bed of chamomile there?

So, now I’m listening to some Sam Baker. Highly recommended, if you’ve never heard of him. Not like anything else I listen too. A little sad sometimes too, but sometimes it’s nice to listen to something that isn’t as cheerful, it puts stuff into perspective.

Well, before I get too maudlin, and turn this into a pitiful rant…. I’m not gonna go on about things that are in my head too much, a lot of them should stay there. But I will pose a question instead, if that’s ok – why would a husband tell a lie about where he had been and who he’d been with? (The presumption here is that nothing sinister is going on).

I think I should maybe quit while I’m ahead, good night folks xxx

Fun time Friday!

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Today we went to a baby group, ‘time for rhyme’ and Lucas and decided to try and pinch a baby girl’s dummy. Is this some sign of affection in baby language? Does he have a girlfriend now? She’s a couple of weeks older than him though, will he grow up liking older women?

As we left the house, I removed another ‘Jesus loves you’ note from my letterbox, as whoever posts them leaves them sticking in the outside (my letterbox is pretty evil) and I don’t want the postman to think I’m leaving him random Jesus related notes.

On the way home, continuing the random religion theme, we stopped in at the local church hall, as they were holding a coffee morning to raise money for Macmillan. This is unusual for me, I tend to avoid churches. I respect the fact that lots of people have lots of different religions. As long as everybody respects my right to not be attached to one. But this was for charity, so I went and had a cup of tea with some old ladies. It was a change in routine, at least! And only 1 person asked me if baba was christened (he isn’t).

I was thinking a bit about religion after that. I used to go to church. I don’t now. It’s been a while.

So after lunch, I’m cleaning (you may have to bear with me, there’s a related point here eventually) and I’ve opened my bedroom window as baby is playing and I’m using furniture polish (my house is all on one floor, so we’re downstairs). I’ve also opened the blinds and the curtains to clean the window. I like to listen to music when I clean. I have a tendency to sing too. I like Belle and Sebastian, and was listening to an album called ‘write about love’.

Which is why, when the paper boy walked past, he heard me singing (possibly loudly) ‘I’ve seen god in the sun, I’ve seen god in the street, god before bed and the promise of sleep…’.

And he stared.

So now he thinks I’m mad. Maybe I am.

The night before weigh in…

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And all through the house, no sweeties were eaten, not even a chocolate mouse….

And I do have some chocolate mice. I did eat some starburst though. There was less fat in them.

I’m now writing this on an iPod. So, apologies if the typing is worse than usual (good luck to the autocorrect figuring out what I’m trying to say!). This is because of a major wifi failure, which led to lots of trying to fix stuff, and resulted in my laptop and iPhone having a very long conversation (about 2 hours so far). I got bored and am in bed.

Obviously, the wifi is currently alive, or I wouldn’t be able to post this. We can’t have pictures though. Unless they’re from photostream. Hmmmm…. Just realised that hasn’t been working in ages and is now updating. I love technology!

Anyway, today’s big crisis was little person’s immunisations. All 3 of them! Very stressful for mammy, worried about having a 2 nearly 3 year old with us (last time he made a big scene). But it was ok. Big one read a story with me in the waiting room. Pretended to read it while watching them jab baby. Baby screamed. Then baby laughed at people watching him.

I gave him calpol (paracetamol) and he went to bed early, with only a breast feed. This is unprecedented, as even before the current weaning program (his teeth are too sharp, and bitey), he had an 8 oz bottle every night. Anyway, he seems to be ok. He never has medicine, so it’s possible that’s made him sleepy.

Sweeties were bought as rewards (yes, I bribe my toddler) and everyone survived.

But I should be sleeping… And I’m not. Quite frankly, I’m dreading tomorrow. Well, it has to be done! Let’s just see how bad it is, then I can start again. Repeat 500 times, ‘I will lose weight’.

Goodnight folks.