Birthdays suck when you’re old… eat nuts instead

For my birthday this year I got a husband cancer scare, a sort of feeble attempt at hacking my google account and a bloody good attempt at hacking a different account, which could have been expensive if:

• I had any money to steal!
• I hadn’t been sitting taking pictures of birdies and being soaked by a water pistol and had been at work.
• I hadn’t been waiting 7/8 weeks for a super important life changing phone call which will make everything better and has caused me to become unhealthily attached to my phone.

So hackers.. I may seem like an easy target.. someone somewhere clearly has a bunch of my details but I HAVE NO MONEY!! It’s not worth your time. If I had money, I’d have a fridge with food in and shit like that.

And all of the above and other things has caused my 2 week ‘holiday’ from work to result in me ending up a weird anxious sorta panicky version of myself. So well, another year over and all that, back to work this week!